Over the past six months I’ve found myself in a bit of a rut that I could not for the life of me dig my way out of. I felt for a long while like some form of higher being was sitting up on a cloud, basking in warm sunshine, sipping a Woo Woo and taking pleasure in throwing all these obstacles at me that I was convinced were going to ruin my life forever. Never one to be less than overdramatic I had come to the conclusion that nothing I could do was going to make it any better.
I moved out of my family home into my boyfriend’s and decided I could work all the hours under the sun to save for my own flat. Little did I know that in February, a couple of close friends and I would be involved in a traffic collision which would in turn contribute to me losing my job, ergo no saving and no flat. So many disasters fell in front of me, from brothers leaving home to being stuck with an unauthorised overdraft I couldn’t pay off, because the darling bank I hold my account with wouldn’t stop charges I couldn’t pay.
I’ve spent the past three months desperately trawling the internet for a new job, applying for everything from recruitment agents to picker packer to pooper scooper. Do you think I got anything back? No, of course not. Finding jobs is proving harder than ever and unless you’ve slept with the boss, are best friends with his daughter or are willing to work for literally NO PAY, it feels like you’ve developed repetitive strain injury and worn down your mouse pad and keyboard for nothing.
What with no job, no money and nothing to do with my time I was on the brink of going completely do-lally. I know most people will try and sell you the ‘money doesn’t make the world go round’ line a thousand times in your life, but I’ve come to learn that having too much time on your hands and not enough money certainly doesn’t make my world spin any faster.
About a month ago I went for an interview for a little call centre agent role, dealing with complaints. I went back today for an assessment and I am pretty confident that it went well. I’ll find out next week if I’ve got the job. After my induction, Dan and I took a trip to Hylands Park (where they hold V Festival in Essex) today and it is so beautiful. There’s a lovely little lake and loads of trees and birds and ducks. There were quite a few people there but it was still so peaceful and calm. You could wander for hours because it’s just so big, and there are stunning gardens at the back, and a little village set up, which is home to a gift shop, art gallery and cafe. There’s also a tiny cottage which used to be home to some of the staff; you can’t go inside unfortunately. I really recommend taking a trip down there, it’s perfect for picnics! I had some time to sit back and have a think about all the things that have been bogging me down recently and I’ve managed to put everything back into proportion. At the moment nothing seems as bad as it did yesterday.
I think what I’m trying to say is that sometimes, no matter how bad everything seems, a long walk in the sun, a picnic in the park or a run along the seafront is all you really need to calm down again. Everything will work out in the end; it can just take a lot more hard work and determination than you first thought. For me, just having hope that a new job could be on the cards very soon, for the first time in my life was enough to stop me from having a nervous breakdown. Allowing the little things to make you happy is okay; letting the trials and tribulations of life get you down definitely is not.
As an old friend once said to me: ‘Life is a test, just looking for a reaction.’