In my blog from last week, I asked if anybody suffering from mental health issues would like to share their piece, and the response has been phenomenal. I’ll be posting a new story every other Monday at 7pm.
Also, I’ve decided to create a hashtag! #ThatsMentalHealth
In the months before my diagnosis, I knew that it wasn’t depression on its own I was battling with. I was experiencing drastic fluctuations in my mood on a daily basis, particularly in the negative emotions, such as anger, jealousy and sadness. I was having delusions, such as hearing negative voices in my head. My relationships with friends and family were deteriorating and my social and work life was non-existent. I had no motivation, and was seriously behind on my university work. This resulted in a secluded and lonely few months, shutting myself in my room and away from reality. I was spacey and numb at points, not giving a care in the world to suddenly feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders. It was friends that pulled me out of my rut after one particularly bad episode
What is BPD?
Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a type of personality disorder. Personality disorders are a type of mental health problem where your attitudes, beliefs and behaviours cause you longstanding problems in your life.
and got me to see the doctor, which then referred me to the psychiatrist.
Being diagnosed with borderline personality disorder came as a relief, because at least I knew what I was dealing with and how to progress. Letting it go on without help for as long as I did was the worst thing I could have done. You are not weak for seeking help and I was so proud of myself for taking that step. Little steps are how I get through my day, even going to one lecture at university is a massive achievement to me, and it gives me a sense of self-worth and satisfaction to know that I’m slowly but surely making progress. Therapy is a scary word to many, and I was so sceptical, but going to cognitive behavioural therapy and emotion regulation therapy has been so helpful already, and helps change your way of thinking and sheds light on the factors that may trigger your negative thoughts and feelings.
Find a person who truly cares for you to tell your feelings to, because the love and support of friends or family is so uplifting. Although it is a constant struggle, finding little things each day you are grateful for really helps. I write mine down so I can look back at them and remember that I am not alone. There is light even when you think you’re in total darkness.
A huge thank you to Lydia Robinson for contributing to this series!
You can follow her here: @lydiarobbo