In case I hadn’t mentioned it enough already, I’m getting married! It’s a very exciting time, and something I never imagined myself doing – my family still laugh occasionally because they always thought I was the least likely out of my siblings and cousins to do it, but here we are!
Everybody has always said that it’s a stressful time. I’ve read about betrothed couples cancelling their weddings weeks before the date to elope and marry in vegas, I’ve read about nightmare in-laws and controlling fathers, I even read one article about a woman who left her fiance purely because the stress of planning a wedding was too much for her. Obviously I personally believed that I have the perfect relationship and our wedding will be wonderful and my fiance and I won’t argue about the planning process one little bit, but, alas, the latter two are completely and utterly false. Planning a wedding is a ball-ache. Here’s what I’ve discovered so far:
Choosing a wedding venue is SO MUCH harder than I first thought
I’ve always had a plan in my head of the kind of place I’d get married; my plan was to decorate a quirky little venue like the tent the young girls make in The Holiday. The thing is, dreaming about your wedding and actually getting married are two totally different things, and I found myself hating the cute, interesting venues we looked at. Luckily we’ve picked our venue now, and I couldn’t be happier.
There are so many decisions we never thought we’d need to make
For example, do we get hitched in a church or opt for a civil ceremony? Is it a good idea to do a three course meal or shall we have an afternoon tea? Do we invite friends’ partners to the ceremony or just the evening? Do we leave a note on every toilet door telling guests how to correctly have a poo? WHO KNOWS!
Deciding on a photography style was something we never even considered
If you aren’t a master of the art of photography, or tend not to dip your toe into the deep and complicated pool that is taking pictures, you may not know that there is more than one style of photography to choose from. When we first started looking, we thought the photos we liked were just taken by people who were very good at their jobs, because some just didn’t look the same. We were WRONG. The pictures we loved and loathed were completely different styles. Did we want digital or film? Were we fans of classic or lifestyle? Did we prefer documentary? Who knows, who cares? (Unfortunately we do, a lot).
Sticking to set numbers for a venue was an awful lot harder than we imagined
I have an Irish Catholic family, ergo it is very, very large. If I was to invite every single member to our wedding, my fiance wouldn’t actually have anybody there for him. Luckily his family is a lot smaller, so we kind of balance each other out. I always thought that we could just sneak a couple of people in if we were over, but unfortunately with fire hazards, health and safety and the comfort of the guests, this is both a very dangerous idea and a little bit stupid.
Children or no children
Some think children make a wedding, others think they break it. If you don’t already have children, it can be difficult to decide how important they are to your wedding day. On the one hand, you’ll have a younger, funnier presence that’ll take away from the drunken antics of harmless uncle Jack. On the other, do you really want them running riot, knocking over drinks and doing knee skids across the dance floor?
The importance of your bridal party
I always thought a bridal party was there just because, but I’ve come to rely on my maid of honour more than I ever thought I would. Having the support of your closest friends and family on the biggest day of your entire life cannot be underestimated, and although we have a high number of bridesmaids and groomsmen, I don’t think we’ll be able to do it any other way.
How long everything takes
We still have near enough 18 months until our wedding, but that doesn’t mean that we can be complacent. So many things need to be booked so far in advance. For example, our wedding venue only had our date left in 2015 (two years before the big day), and was already taking bookings for 2018. A lot of photographers we’ve requested quotes from are already booked up, and we’ve already had to decide on our reception drinks!
Finding the wedding dress is absolutely terrifying
It’s supposed to be the most exciting shopping trip of your life. No matter what kind of gal you are, there’s a dress to suit your needs. Obviously some styles will suit you better than others, but for the most part, we’re covered. Nobody, however, mentioned how daunting it would be when you stepped through the boutique door. You’re about to try on the dress you’ll be wearing when your life changes forever. If I go on holiday, I question every outfit choice I’ve taken with me the entire time. How on earth can I be expected to spend hundreds of pounds on a dress I might hate in a year’s time!
We have a while until our wedding, so I’m sure in that time I’ll become even more shocked by the obstacles awaiting my arrival. What I will say, is that although Daniel and I have argued a little bit about certain parts of the planning process, it has definitely made us closer. It’s an exciting time as much as it is stressful, and I can’t wait for the day I get to call him my husband (ew).
What has surprised you about the planning process? Let me know!
Photo via here