I’ve been engaged for about a year and a half and it’s been great. The feeling is indescribable – knowing your favourite person in the whole wide world wants to actually spend the rest of his life with you and is willing to sign a legally binding document to say so. It’s incredibly fun planning the actual wedding and it’s something all my friends and family are really excited about. If they’re not, they’re doing a bloody good job of pretending they are…
A few things aren’t fun though. While most people have been lovely and genuinely want to know how everything is going, there are a few things which have made my blood BOIL.
- Does this mean you’ll be trying for a baby soon?
Okay, no. No no no. What in the world gives somebody the authority to ask such a personal question? This is not the 1940s, us ladies are not baby making, cake baking machines. We are people with careers and personalities and dreams and goals and sometimes a child doesn’t fit into that. What if you asked that question to a woman who just found out she can’t have children? What if you nonchalantly threw that at somebody who a couple of month ago miscarried? These questions are personal, and it’s something that the couple will decide between them, and will let you know when they’re ready, not when you’re ready to hear it. Also, consider this: Would you ask the man in the relationship the same question?
- Mind what you eat, you have a dress to fit into!
EXSQUEEZE ME? If I want to eat an entire Victoria sponge I will, and if I overindulge I’ll workout extra hard, or I’ll buy a bigger dress – hey, maybe I won’t have to spend as much money on alterations because I’ll fit into it better! God forbid a woman is comfortable not being a size 8, with a flabby arse. And again, have you reminded the groom that he has a pair of trousers that need to fit around his ever expanding waistline?
- How can you afford to get married?
I’m not quite sure who decided this question was acceptable. Since when were we so comfortable sharing our financial situations with the world, and since when was it anybody’s business? Our bank balance has absolutely nothing to do with anybody but us as a couple, and how we choose to spend the money we work bloody hard for is something we will decide for ourselves.
- Can I come to the wedding?
This is the absolute worst question and I’ve been asked it at least once a month during my engagement. Whether you’re joking or not, casually slipping an invite request to somebody who is currently spending more money than they make in order to feed their guests and entertain them for an evening is not okay. It makes for very uncomfortable conversation, especially when we had no intention of inviting you.
Next time you speak to your betrothed friends have a think about what you’re saying and whether or not you’d be more than happy to hear it yourselves! What questions have you been asked as a fiance? Do share in the comments below!